Bald Bloopers | My Blog

Funny stories and jokes about being bald.

One of the sad, but true, things said to me while out bald was, “Do you have cancer, or are you making a statement?” This, from a woman in line, at the “dollar store” with me. I was so shocked, I said “cancer” but instead of an apology she proceeded to let me know how everyone and their mothers around her also had cancer, it must be the water here. I informed her I had my cancer looooooong before moving to the area. The things I wish I had said, regarding “statement”: “Yes, I am in a punk band.”; ” Just call me Sinead O’ Connor.”; “Bald is the new hip/edgy look, don’t you know?” The retorts about cancer I wish I’d said: “I have cancer and it IS contagious.” ; “I have cancer, do you have manners?” Duuuuude, some people!!! (Canshare/June 2011)

I took to MAJOR sparkly eyeshadow and eyeliner all the way around my eyes during my “bald phase” so that people would look me in the eye instead of at my bald head, it didn’t really work, but you can call me “Sparkles”, since I haven’t given up the look. (Canshare/June 2011)

I have a bald guy friend, who, now that I have my hair again, tells me that he is “Jealous”. My retort to him is, ”I am jealous too, bald is EASY!!” Thanks for the laughs, mister!!! (Canshare/June 2011)

Baldness fun: I never did get around to it, but if you choose to go public with the baldness (I did), try getting a henna tattoo of choice. Something that says, “You” to the world, why not?! (Canshare/June 2011)

10 Things to Do When Chemo Makes You Bald: 1. Stick your head out of the bathroom door and ask your friend to get you a comb or brush, so you can fix your part. 2. Go outside on a sunny day and see if the Sun on your bald head will start a fire. 3. Get fingerpaint, but instead of your fingers, use your head. 4. Tell people your mother was abducted by aliens and your were the result. 5. Go to the store and buy one dozen bottles of moisturizing shampoo 6. Paint a beard on your chin, and go up to someone on the street and ask, “Deal, or no deal?” 7. Tell the store clerk in your local paint store you’d like to paint your trim in the bathroom the same shade as your head and ask him if he can help you match it. 8. Paint white dots on your head, walk into McDonald’s and, at the top of your lungs, sing, “Two all beef patties, lettuce, sauce, melted cheese……” 9. Next time the carnival comes to town, ask for your own booth and charge $25 for people to rub your head and make a wish. 10. Paint a face on the back of your head to prove to your kids that you really do have eyes on the back of your head. (Denise/Oct 2011)

I was in the ladies room of a restaurant and a gal complimented me on my hairstyle and asked where I had my hair done. I plucked off my wig and handed it to her and told her that she could have the same style. Pretty much shocked her, but I had a great laugh at this. (Susie/Oct 2011)

My dad wanted me to color his hair black for Halloween. We didn’t realize it was permanent. So, I tried to strip the color, but instead of being gray again it was bleach blonde! He was embarrassed, so he had my little sister shave his head. He said we would just tell everyone it’s the cancer. lol (Crystal/Dec 2011)

My 4 year old really hated haircuts would cry every time. Now he has Leukemia and his little sister said to me, “I want my hair cut.” and Sean says, “Ha ha ha, you need a hair cut and I don’t, my hair falls out all on it’s own!” (From Pamela, Sean’s Mom/
http://www.facebook.com/SeanTheLeulemiaAssassinPetrone?ref=tn_tnmn / Dec 2011)

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